Manipulation

Webster’s defines “Manipulation” as ‘to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage’ . Totally in sync with our definations and associations of the word…But… it also defines manipulation as ‘to manage or utilize skillfully’ … so who draws the line between being manipulative and being “MANIPULATIVE”.

Like most people I have always prided myself as being a straightforward person, I knew I was complicated but never “manipulative”. But now I stand at a point in my life where I wonder what exactly is manipulation. Is concealing certain truths to get your work done manipulation? Is lying to a friend about what you are really thinking manipulation? When what you are actually thinking of is telling him that he’s about to do the biggest mistake of his life but you don’t know if he’ll continue to be your friend after that point…. What exactly is manipulation? …. People have usually commended me on my ability to form networks and exercise them well… but these networks were formed out of a genuine effort of friendship not a motive of “networking” and today I don’t know when I’m making a friendly call and when I’m “exercising” my network. Does time really bend you so bad at times… that you tend to forget the basic form of who you are…

I met a very very dear friend after a while yesterday in a semi professional context, I had so much to talk about so much to share and being the way I am I did… yap yap yap.. today im back at work realizing that I hardly spoke about what he’s been going through, and considersing he’s just managing a city and job change , it makes me cringe at the fact that I don’t even know how he feels about the new city he’s in… it’s not like we havent spoken about all this, but I still feel like I haven’t been there completely… I know he doesn’t really expect me to be there like always…but I used to want to care about every damn thing about every one in my inner circle.. I was a total worry pot!!... why have I learnt to let go of things… people say its for the better, to learn to distance, learn to draw lines… but excuse me..who draws the line between giving space and indifference??