Fidelity is a very funny concept. General use of the phrase refers to sexual loyalty between couples. But the question is does it end there? Is sexual loyalty the only thing that can grant you the virtue of being faithful?
There are many instances in our lives when we are actually torn between feelings, love, lust, guilt, conscious. Defining feelings is anyways a Herculean task let alone, justifying it, slotting it, understanding and accepting it. Amongst all this chaos and effort what happens to the pure romantic in us? I used to be a die-hard romantic… believing in “love of your life”, soulmates, “the one” and all that jazz, till I discovered the complications of adult relationships. Love used to be so simple at one point in time… you meet someone, get to know him better, fall in love, spend time together, laugh together, fight a little, then make up and make love and that’s it… but in today’s life, it doesn’t end there… there is the ghost of old fights, eeky habits, the eternal jadedness and ofcourse other people. Now by other people I don’t mean other lovers just people… friends, colleagues, gym buddies, dance class partners, the list is endless. What happens to your poor lil heart when it is now exposed to such galaxy of feelings. Someday there will be someone who will come along and tread very close to your definitions of soulmate. Someday you will find a friend who has more in common with you than you beau ever did. How do you keep your heart from moving towards that person. Sexual loyalty is the last step, but how do you ensure emotional loyalty. Isn’t having remotely romantic feelings for someone else equal to infidelity? If you don’t cross the line, is it ok to deep in your heart constantly wonder what if?
The other side to it is that if you have managed to slot your life well and accepted the fact that your feelings for all people involved are genuine.. then how does it matter if there is sexual loyalty or not. I’m not talking of the controversial “sleeping around” phenomenon. I’m talking about making love around?... if your feelings are aligned.. what’s the bloody difference? You will always choose one person to spend your life with and that decision will be a combination of feelings and rationale… but what about relationships that are based on only feelings… no rationle what so ever.. when you feel like at some very basic level you are deeply bonded with a person, when making love is actually an expression of that very bond… when you just want to consume that person in all his/her form irrespective of the definition the world would give to your relationship. What happens then… are you being unfaithful ?... if you say yes, then when did you become unfaithful… when you made love or when you fell in love or when for the first time you smiled at that person with a glint in your eye.. the biggest question is .. can we truly ever be monogamous… in the truest sense of the word can “fidelity” ever be achieved… Honestly, I don’t know anymore…
3 comments:
Being selfish is the essence of human existence. there is no other way any human on earth can actually be. Emotions are given in barter. sounds lil rude but it's fact. Way to go... nice post
Well written... Almost as if you were reading my mind... In fact, as humans we are always torn between 'self-control' and 'be yourself'. Guess this is one such dilemma...
Cheerz
Emotional infidelity amounts to "cheating". Consider your position if your soulmate thought the same about someone else. Tell me you wouldnt feel cheated. The trick here is to have self-respect, love unconditionally, have no ego and finally believe everything you wished for will come true. You make sense out of how it works for you.
Post a Comment